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Gay Wedding Etiquette

This piece is soooooo early 90s, is stereotypical and dates badly, but is still kinda amusing:

Gay wedding cake
  • On the day of a gay wedding, it’s bad luck for the two grooms to see each other at the gym.
  • Superstition suggests that for good luck the couple should have: Something bold, something flirty, something trashy, something dirty.
  • It’s customary at gay and lesbian nuptials for the parents to have an open bar during the entire ceremony.
  • Gay wedding tradition dictates that both grooms refrain from eating any of the wedding cake because it’s all carbs and sugar.
  • It’s considered bad luck for either of the grooms to have dated the priest.
  • During the first dance, it’s considered unlucky to use glowsticks, flags, whistles or hand held lasers.
  • For good luck at the union of a drag queen, the bouquet is always thrown in the face of a hated rival.
  • The reception hall must have a disco ball and at least one go-go dancer.
  • The wedding singer is not allowed to play or sing Let’s Hear It For The Boy, It’s Raining Men or I Will Survive.
  • The father of the Bottom pays for everything!

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